“When somebody shy is speaking, if you look at them and nod your head it encourages them to keep talking.”

“One that I picked up from a friend of mine whenever he was trying to pick out dinner with his gf: rather than ask “What do you want?” and getting the typical ‘i dunno, anything’ answer and then having suggestions shot down. Start with “what do you NOT want?” Used it a few times in some of my relationships and it’s the godsend question.”

“I work front desk in a medical office. Patients hate updating their paperwork. I used to say, “look through the pages and make any changes.” They would groan and reluctantly take the paperwork, or just complain about it. Now I say, “ALL YOU HAVE TO DO is make changes.” Saying it that way makes them think it’s not much to do and they take the clipboard without complaint. It’s the little things that make life at my office easier.”

“Saying hello to everybody you know, and with a smile. Often people who know eachother from when they were in primary school or just from the block when they were young give eachother an awkward smile instead of an happy goodday! Just imagine… if someone walks into you twice a year and both times you smile and greet them enthousiastically, they will think of you as a nice person.”

“When you’re talking to someone, they will naturally fill silence. It’s subconscious. If you want them to keep talking, keep your own mouth shut. This is useful if you’re ever in a verbal altercation.”

“This isn’t something I’ve used but I think it’s worth sharing. Derren Brown said that once there was a muscley drunk guy that wanted to beat him up and said the classic “what are you looking at.” Derren replied with “the wall outside my house is four feet tall.” The idea is that it puts the aggravated person on the back foot and takes them out of that adrenaline filled state. Anyways he sat down and the guy started crying to him about his gf.”

“Think of my future self… How will my future self feel in an hour or two if I skip my gym session? Will my future self be happy if I do this pile of dishes now, before bed? Or would he prefer to have to do it in the morning, before work? Pretty much all the bad stuff gives us instant gratification, while all the good stuff has delayed gratification. I always try to remember that – if I have to wait to reap the rewards then it’s probably the best option.”

“To avoid workplace drama and be well liked is to just compliment people behind their back.”

“Idk if this is an actual thing or not… or maybe just distractions… but when I do something annoying or bothersome to my husband and he goes quiet, I wait a few minutes and then I ask him a seemingly innocent question, usually on the subject of how certain parts of a car works, or something mechanical. This gets him talking about the car thing and he rambles for like 5 minutes and then bam! He’s happy again and not quietly brooding. I’ll never tell him I do that because I’m afraid it won’t work anymore if he knows about it. It’s foolproof though, it works every single time, no matter how bothered he is.”

“Listening to someone without giving advice or pushing for more information typically nets me more information than being pushy for it.”

“In an argument find something to agree on then push your main point.”

“When you are standing in a group and somebody tells a joke or something funny happens, people tend to look towards the person they like the most while laughing.”

“If someone says they have the hiccups, ask them to prove it. 9/10 times, their hiccups will disappear. Having to summon a hiccup in order to demonstrate will trick your diaphragm into just Not Hiccuping. I’ve been able to twist it around on myself with some success as well, but it takes practice. You realize you have hiccups, then /try/ to hiccup. Actively try to make yourself do another one. It’ll stop.”

“I work with a bunch of idiot lawyers and I use the phrase “you’re correct” all the time – even if it’s one teeny tiny thing they’re correct about, it makes them feel smart and they instantly soften…it also keeps them listening because they’re hoping more flattery will come down the pike evil cackle.”

“Thanking someone for a trait you want from them. Instead of telling a customer you’re sorry for their wait, tell them thank you for your patience or understanding. Works wonders.”

“My youngest (4) got into the “why” phase a little while back. Read an article that said the best way to get them to stop was to ask them “I’m not sure, what do you think?” It is a godsend. They answer their own question, you provide some feedback “Sounds good to me.” and they immediately move on. Fucking awesome.”

“When I ask someone a question and their first response is “what?” …I just stare at them for a few seconds, and 99% of the time they answer my question without me having to repeat myself. I think it’s just a subconscious reflex people have to ask “what?” Instead of answering what you’ve asked even when they’ve heard you clearly.”

“Instead of arguing I start off by agreeing and then state my point of view after addressing the other persons point. Always ends in a positive interaction.”

“Smile at the bartender, they’ll be more likely to come to you quicker. Smile at your colleague in the morning and they’ll be more open to the request that you’ve got for them later. Smile at your kids and they’ll feel loved. Smile at your partner and they’ll wonder what they’ve done that’s made you so happy. Smile at me and I’ll smile back and we’ll both feel great for a few minutes. Smile at everyone when you meet them, smile in a job interview, smile at the shop worker, the binman, the postman, the random dog walker in the park, the person who nearly bumped into you on the street, the barista, your teacher, your mum and your dad. Smile at yourself in the mirror and give yourself a cheeky wink.”

“I recently read, that saying “You’re right!” instead of “I know.” makes you look less like an asshole and doesn’t diminish something someone else may have just found out. I think it’s pretty effective at not letting you look like a total ass.”